8/10/09 - The Incident with the Dog

i've been muy lazy about writing up this unusual thing that happened last monday, so before i get into the bahamas cruise update, i want to get this down.

on monday, i had a really chill day. was in a very, very happy mood. did some writing, headed up to borders to pick up the little prince. i've been meaning to read it for some time. i've had several people recommend it over the years, and recently, on my last trip up to fremont in june, i noticed my brother had a copy of it on his desk.

are you reading this, i asked him.

i don't know whose that is, he said.

i remember wanting to take it to read, but wasn't sure if it belonged to someone else who had just left it at my parents' house, so i left it alone, making a mental note to check it out.

while on the cruise to alaska, i was getting breakfast one morning and i noticed a guy in the beverage line had it in hand, and it reminded me all over that i wanted to read it. finally, the last night, our last meeting, christian and i talked books and he said the little prince was his number one recommendation to me. i figured i was clearly being urged that now was the right time to read it.

i have a bit of a magical relationship with books. i'm always buying or picking up books...both my parents' house and my place in la are filled with them. there are books i buy for whatever random impulsive reason, but they'll sit on my shelf, forgotten for years sometimes, before i pick them up one day by whim. sometimes i read them, sometimes i flip through, but usually what happens is whatever i read turns out to be exactly what i needed to read at the exactly right time.

for example, i read a review of this psychology book about how divorce affects children, particularly in their adult life. i bought the book in 2000, really excited about it because it was right around the time i was focused on getting ready to apply to grad schools for clinical psychology. but then it sat on my shelf for years, until 2007, when i decided to pick a book at random from my shelf to read. it turned out to be a fascinating book, discussing studies indicating that divorce strongly affects the future adult outlooks of children and how they approach their own relationships, and begged the question if divorce is better or worse than when parents are unhappy and stay together. so as i was reading the book, i randomly ran into a chiropractor i'd gone to the previous year after a minor car accident. we went out a few times, and i remember there were some heavy moments when he would mention his parents' divorce when he was a child, and how he didn't want to get married then divorced. i sensed he had some deep-seated issues, issues that meant that whatever was happening between us probably wouldn't go anywhere, but a lot of times, i would find myself thinking about the book or telling him things from the book that seemed to open him up a little more. in a way, that book that i had bought 7 years before and randomly decided to read at that particular time, became an aid of sorts for understanding this man and his perspective of life, connecting in a way that was supportive to him.

other examples are sometimes, i'll pick up a book or magazine, and read about something random, like polar bears, and then the next night, i might be out and about and someone will mention polar bears and i'll regurgitate some nugget of info that i just happened to randomly read, and then people say, wow, that's really interesting, like i'm really smart and know so much random information. but really, i'm just lucky that way. usually this information gets forgotten soon after it's "used," so if you asked me about polar bears a month later, i would probably be as clueless as the next person.

so on monday, i went to pick up the little prince to bring to the bahamas with me. i went to borders and happened to have a gift card i had bought for myself last month to get the parking validated. so basically, it was like this book was a present to me, from me. it took me a while to find that book (they're so incredibly disorganized), though i did find it in spanish. i like reading books in spanish, though my spanish has gotten so rusty that i can only read and slightly understand spoken Spanish if it's articulated slowly, but can't "create" with it (speak or write). i felt a twinge in my head, that maybe it's time to pick up spanish again.

i finally caved and asked a sales rep for help, and the only other copy was a limited edition hardback copy, a really beautiful copy. i figured i would probably really like the book so i may as well get it. was really happy about it.

it was a gorgeous day, blue skies with expressive cloud formations, so i headed to venice to sit outside and watch the sun set while i read the little prince. it seemed like a fitting setting to finally read the book. my usual place wasn't opened yet for the evening, so i went to a little cafe across the street, and got a coffee. the waitress was really nice.

as i was getting the book out, this shaggy dog on a leash came up, crawled under my chair and between my legs, curling at my feet like she was my dog. her owner was this dignified-looking white guy in his 40's.

um...okay, he said. this is unusual.

he stood there holding the leash while his dog chilled, pressed up against my legs.

what's her name, i asked.

lucky, he said.

of course it is, i thought with a smile. like the radiohead song i was just thinking about.

so i was petting her, and he said, she must really like you.

he pulled the leash and asked her if she still wanted to go to the park, but she just looked at me, then put her head back down and chilled. he kept cajoling her, trying to get her to go, but she was determined not to go anywhere, pressing harder into my leg. so he was just standing there, holding the leash, not knowing what to do.

did...you want to sit down?, i asked, gesturing to the open seat across from me.

i guess i have to, he said. lucky doesn't seem to want to go anywhere.

we talked about the area, but to be honest, we had no connection. it was really tedious small talk. i seemed to also be making him nervous, or more accurately, he was making himself very nervous. he kept taking off his sunglasses, putting them back on, taking them off again, and talking really fast, then drifting off in mid-sentence. so i just tried to be friendly and pass the time, and we waited for his dog to be ready to leave.

i asked him about 1311 abbott kinney which was half a block up from where we were sitting, that commercial building that's for sale. he didn't know what it was, but said a lot of buildings were vacant now because there wasn't enough money coming in to support the leases. the street has a lot of art galleries and boutique retail establishments, but i feel this building isn't for retail...but something else. i would have to keep an eye on it and think about it some more, but i want access to that rooftop patio.

i told him i was a writer and he told me to write children's books. actually someone else had suggested that to me before, but as something i would be good at once i had my own kids. we had a long silence while we each stared off into the distance, and then he broke it by saying, i don't know anything about what you write, but whatever you do, you should tie it in with music, make it a multimedia experience.

that's funny you say that, i said. my creativity is closely tied to music. i'm always linking music to the things i blog about. music and words, to me, feed and inspire each other. i can't have one without the other.

he stood up and asked his dog if she was ready to go. he tugged on her leash and she got up, but did a fake out, walking in a tight circle then sitting back down on her haunches, staring at me.

now i don't have as much experience with dogs as many of my friends do--my parents had a sweet dog when i went off to college, and he was great, but i've never had my own who was my sole responsibility. i know they do tend to like me, and as long as they aren't neurotically insane, i usually like them. but this experience with this dog was getting unusual.

the guy kept tugging the leash and telling her to go, but she just sat there looking at me, then jumped into my lap with her paws on my waist, putting her head on the table. it looked like a very wistful hug.

well, that looks very comfortable, i said.

the guy was perplexed. lucky, you act like you don't get any love at home, he said, almost hurt.

she laid there like that and he patted her but she wouldn't move. he offered her a treat but she just lifted her head, looked at me, licked my hand, then put her head down again. he tugged at her leash and she would land on the ground, but just jump into my lap again and stare into my eyes.

this is very unusual, he said. she really likes you.

i took my phone and snapped a picture of her.

there, i said. now i promise that i will never forget you.

but she stayed in that position, paws on my lap, staring into my eyes. her owner kept calling her name and she would glance over but go back to staring into my eyes. it was then that i noticed she had hazel eyes that were incredibly...human. i stared back into them and felt myself starting to open, starting to sink, the way it happens when i look into the eyes of someone with whom i'm capable of connecting with on a deeper level.

maybe she has something she's trying to tell me, i say, almost a whisper. lucky, are you trying to tell me something? do you know what it is i'm supposed to be doing?

she licks her lips, almost a smile, then jumps off, walking away with a happy trot, now more than willing to lead the way towards the park.

her owner looks at me and shrugs, dumbfounded.

i'll...i'll see you again, he said, almost dazed. i'll probably see you again.

he walked away, dog leading the man, and i thought, i'll see you again. not see you later. not, take it easy. but i'll see you again. like he didn't understand what had just happened, but expected when we meet up in the future, we might have a better idea then.

what a strange encounter.

i saw that my place was now open for business and figured i would read there and watch the sunset through the palm trees from my favorite spot by the open window. i went to pay for the coffee but the waitress smiled and told me not to worry about it. that was very nice. so i left her some money on the table, more than the cost of the coffee.

started reading the little prince. it took me a long time because i was savoring every word, every feeling, every sweetness, every image. it made me so happy sometimes, i thought i would cry. got to the part about the baobabs and watching the sunset. loved that i was watching the sunset at the same time.

"you know, when you're feeling very sad, sunsets are wonderful..."

"on the day of the forty-four times, were you feeling very sad?"

but the little prince didn't answer.

holy crap. tears welled up in my eyes. i put the book away, to savor for later.

i didn't end up taking it with me to the bahamas. the copy i have is just too nice. i think i'll read it over the next couple of days when i go to my spot in venice to watch the sunset.

so far, it has brought a lot of happiness into my spirit.