i was barefoot on a dark beach, the moon a bloody sliver sinking into the ocean.

it looks like mars, i said to the handsome french man, who couldn't stop staring at me.

we'd met up for tea and to take a walk.

he'd told me he wanted to talk to me because of my smile. he'd seen me smile from inside my car the day before.

the fact is, i was in my car happily singing along to careless whisper by...who else, the fabulous mr. george michael. back in the day when he was just another straight man in tight pants. i mean, i was very happily jamming, figured no one could see me. black car. dark street. i'm in shadow mode. george michael and i are good.

this guy walks by, shaved head, glasses, the ghost of someone beautiful, so of course i smiled. beamed. and somehow, he saw me.

i saw him double back later, walking past my car, and i was still jamming to careless whisper. i thought, okay, first i have to turn off the song because it's probably not the proudest moment. secondly, i have to get out of the car because i think this guy wants to talk to me.

so i get out and he's a couple of yards away on his cellphone (i actually thought he was pretending), so i go to cross the street (yours to lose, buddy)...and he comes running up.

introduced himself. said i looked familiar. he had an accent. i asked him what it was. french, he said. oh, i said.

this is intriguing what is happening here.

i'm probably looking at him so warmly because he reminds me of someone else, and the funniness of it is making me smile so expansively that it's coming out of my chest. and he's drawn in. i'm talking to him like we're long lost friends.

he asks if we can get together, and i tell him i'm moving to seattle in two weeks. he says, then we better spend time together soon. he asks why and i tell him that i'm trying to establish a secondary writing location.

he has to run, he's late for a birthday party. he texts me on and off for the rest of the night.

tonight, we were standing side by side, watching the moon over the ocean. i could see stars, but i don't trust the stars in los angeles. so many are planes in disguise. we've only spent 30 minutes together. i can tell there's no romantic connection, outside of the fact he's a really nice, peaceful person and so am i. i could tell from his eyes he wanted to touch me. probably sexually but not necessarily. just something about skin and body. he put his arm around me and asked if i would like to get closer or if i'm okay, and i said i was okay. he stroked my shoulders and neck, exploring. i like cool fingers...my skin always runs warm. he commented that my body was giving off a lot of heat, even though we're standing out in the cold. he's gentle but not testing my boundaries, so i'm not concerned. as long as he gets something out of it, and doesn't cross any lines, i enjoy it. but i tell him that i'm not looking for anything because i'm gone in two weeks.

he said that it was okay. but then he pauses. "do you mean you're not looking for a relationship?"

"i'm not looking to get involved in anything that makes me lose focus of getting to seattle. i'm cool getting to know people, but i'm not looking to get involved in anything that makes me not want to leave."

his palm gently maps the curves that make the small of my back.

i know that if i stand my ground and don't believe in it, nothing will happen. as fun as it would be to get physically involved with someone, i don't need any distractions right now. any acknowledgment of chemistry and all i've built comes crumbling down, i've worked too hard to lose focus now just because of my hedonism and love of human touch. soon. but not right now.

i focus on the moon, and keep finding topics to delve into. he's a spiritual man himself, so we have lots to talk about.

when the moon drops into the ocean, we walk around main street for another hour. he's a nice person, but there's not really a deeper connection there. he walks me to my car. he remembers it.

i say to him, "i still don't know how you saw me. i'm in a black car in the dark and you saw me smile when i saw you. how were you able to see me?"

"i don't know," he said. "i just did. i looked over and you had this amazing smile, and it made me feel i had to talk to you."

that must have been one hell of a smile, i thought.