1015 Santa Monica Building Memo
Date: January 30, 2004
From: 3am Wanderer
To: Hot English Guy Who's At Least 10 Years Older Than Me

Dear Hot English Guy Who's At Least 10 Years Older Than Me But Sometimes Rides The Elevator And Small Talks About Being Used To Colder Weather But Liking It Out Here And Has A Really Nice Smile And No Wedding Ring,

We ride the elevator together sometimes. And you always small talk about the weather. I'm the Asian girl who mumbles to herself. And compulsively presses every button.

I think you're cute. In a, at-least-10-years-older-than-me kind of way, not in a I-want-to-go-out-and-go-through-all-the-tedious-first-date-formalities-before-taking-you-back-to-my-place-for-crazy-raunchy-sex-that-may-include-my-suggesting-that-we-turn-on-the-video-camera-in-the-corner-of-my-bedroom-but-that-i'll-probably-just-turn-on-when-you're-in-the-bathroom-and-then-lie-about-because-I-don't-want-you-asking-for-a-copy-of-it kind of way.

I like to look at you. In a he's-really-cute-in-an-at-least-10-years-older-than-me kind of way, not in a I-wonder-what-he's-wearing-underneath-those-jeans-and-if-it's-leopard-print-or-crotchless-and-how-hard-would-it-be-to-remove-that-undergarment-with-my-teeth-as-I-writhe-my-rear-end-to-Donna-Summer's-Love-To-Love-You-Baby kind of way.

I notice that lately, you've been standing in the hall outside my window and chatting with coworkers. I would like to suggest that you do more of that. If it's helpful, I'll be happy to put some tape down to mark your spot in front of my window so you know exactly where to stand in order for me to get the best candid view of you without reconfiguring my work station or straining my neck. Please let me know.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Kind Regards,

3am Wanderer