To warp the words of Howie D., "Lately I've been drinking, and lately I've been thinking of you."

So let's play the drunken dysfunctional what if game:

What if the rules had been broken a few more times and I hadn't talked you into staying?
What if the dreams that we dreamed were just the hopes of two people waiting to self destruct?
What if everything you said was true and everything I said was true and it was easier to make lies from them than to believe the truth?
What if I had been the one to throw in the towel early and cut you off at the knees so you could feel my pain?
What if you hadn't come home drunk that night and beaten my insides so badly that I begged you to finish the job?
What if everything you knew to be true was a lie, and I was actually the one fucking with you?

It's been years since I've seen you but maybe it's time for me to confront your ghost. Because I see your ghost in every man I meet. I tell you I've seen it all. I've seen the dark side and I've seen the light and you are neither. You have barely existed in this world that moves too fast for a little boy crying into his sleeve. I've tasted beatings from every man and woman I've met and nothing tastes sweeter than the ones I give myself. You are the speck hidden on the side of the roof hinged in just the wrong way broken black and daring the world to drop you into oblivion. You haven't haunted anything except the sad little boy hiding in his daddy's shadow and one day when something bigger than you takes over and you're not so much drowning as forgetting to breathe, you'll remember the one person who reached out a hand and realize that you really fucked up and there's nothing left in the world that won't turn against you.

Journeys into the night last a lifetime, my friend
and you have no time to sleep
when the morning comes with the debris scattered around
you will think about what is worthy to keep
in your dreams you are flying
but deep down you know
that some things will never return
you've put your eggs in a bottomless basket
and you're fucked when you realize you can never let go