Power plays at work have got me sick. Night-time sneezing, coughing, aching...blech. But maybe cold medicine is God's way of saying, Hon...you need to be in rehab, but I won't make you do it cold turkey." Something I learned today: Pork rinds smell really bad.

I've decided that people with an artistic bent date narcissistic assholes just so they can be so tormented by the relationship, that they write passionate, obsessive, creepy songs analyzing why narcissistic assholes don't love them. And then those songs become hits because all those people who feel so empty from an excess of self-loathing that they need to date narcissistic assholes to have a tangible reason for their emotional suffering, embrace these songs about narcissistic assholes so that they can feel that their disgusting cycle is acceptable because other people are dating narcissistic assholes too and obviously it's beautiful because their songs of torment are played every hour on the Top 40 stations and teenage girls across the country who don't even know what love is are calling up the Ryan Seacrests and Carson Daly's, requesting these songs to be played as often as possible until they all spin into one collective, amorphous sentimental black hole that is the cause of what the media refers to as the American Teen Obesity Due To Poor Self Image and Low Self Esteem problem... Let's get it straight, all you Dildos and Rob Thomas's and Stephen Jenkins of the world...what do you think would happen if we told these narcissistic assholes to go to hell? Perhaps we would be in functional relationships and there would be no more music left to write, and no more laying in bed, moaning in self-despair, clutching tear-soaked journals of bad poetry and asking why why why Dumbass McLoser doesn't love you. It's cuz he's a dumbass and has a small penis and is upset that you didn't comment on how big it is the first time you saw it and so, technically, it's really all your fault that the relationship didn't work out and *sniffle* how could you do this to him and *choke* he's just so lonely and *sob* maybe he'll never find someone who will really love him and ...how come you haven't said anything good my hair today?? Honestly, people, who hasn't looked back and been morbidly embarrassed for dating one of these children? Don't feed these jerks. They're like the chimps at the zoo. They'll just throw feces at you and eeeeehheeeheee!around with their fellow primates while touching themselves in public. Order a mail order bride or groom. Trust me...they'll be too afraid of losing their green card to treat you badly. Works for Tom Cruise.

On the other hand, I listen to Love Songs on the Coast all the time.

Today's mood: Lobotomized with images of Pong dancing in my head. mmmmmm....sweet, sweet, Pong...