being in fremont.

is like, being reminded how much it hurts to be close to people who are in some areas, ruled by bad ghosts and determined to defend them to the end. because on one hand, you accept people as they are--for their good qualities, for their limitations. for their immense love and loyalty to you. you accept and you understand. you can't demand a goat to turn into an elephant. it's just not possible. you have to love the goat for its goatness, and find an elephant to be your elephant. so the compromise--addition by subtraction--is you accept them as they are, and because of that, you gain more appreciation of the positives.

but if the goat is eating up your garden, you can appreciate its goatness but still really want it to stop eating up your garden.

it's unfair for the goat to turn around and say, i'm a goat! i can't help it! this is just what i do, so be a better person and just accept it. you're taking advantage of my acceptance to excuse bad behavior.

there's a big difference between accepting people for who they are holistically, and wanting a certain behavior that is detrimentally affecting the relationship to be discussed in a calm and rational manner.