i signed up for an online short story writing class to motivate me to write short stories. my mom is demanding a collection of short stories, fictional or non-fictional, she doesn't care. i also see myself being most ready to put together a collection of short stories. so the first thing we had to do today was submit bios. here's mine:

Born in Texas, raised in California, my greatest trauma was the mom-subjected perm I had for 6 years (junior high through high school--the cruelest years). Majored in English and Film at University of Michigan and lived in LA for 10 years, before moving to Amsterdam last year, winning a Cannabis Cup as a brand-consultant bringing a smoking product to market (surprisingly, my Chinese parents brag about it, showing you that Chinese parents will brag about anything their children do). Now living in Seattle on a one year living/writing sabbatical. This is code for moving to a place where I don't know anyone so I can force myself to talk to lots of strangers and write. I find that writing is 80% paying attention while you're living and 20% writing. 80% banging your head on your desk screaming obscenities at the heavens (or strangers on the sidewalk below), sometimes curled up in the corner wallowing in self-pity, 20% typing like the wind thinking you're some kind of chosen one. When I don't know what to write, I will check the fridge continuously like I'm gonna find some kind of answer there. I hope this writing class will give me more answers than I've found in my fridge.

the first assignment? don't laugh... a 10 minute stream-of-consciousness free-write. little do they know, i've got a massive blog and cabinets full of notebooks containing free-writes. i think i can do this assignment with my brain closed.