writing that last story really swept me up. felt like i was trapped in another world today, half here, half away.

my dad emailed me and asked me where i got the idea for it.

i knew i had to write a drama for a chance to win. the academy always awards dramas. but because i know the judges are fickle, i didn't want to depart from trying to write a good story into trying to write a good competition entry. so i figured to make this story the greatest challenge on myself yet, and let the competition be secondary.

i've never written a historical drama. in fact, anything that requires attention to verifiable detail intimidates me, because there are too many ways your inaccuracy can detract from the story.

my first idea was of two warring families from neighboring provinces in medieval china. generations of assassinations to avenge assassinations from each side. a female assassin from one family meets a male assassin from the other, and they fight, nearly kill each other into a draw, realize ridiculous sexual chemistry, and get down. they become secret lovers, she has his child, and they each agree they will never kill again. they agree this feud can not go on, that this child will bring peace between the two families. the lord of the man's family hears a prophecy that a child has been born in X village that will change his reign as he knows it. so he sends out assassins dressed as beggars into this village to kill all newborns. so the assassin finds the place where the female assassin is living with the baby, and a huge fight ensues in which she kills the beggar assassins but is mortally wounded. the father of the baby realizes it is his own clan that killed the mother of his child. the clan the woman belonged to must avenge her death. in an act of sacrifice, her lover calls a meeting of the clans, presents the child as that which belongs equally to each family and they must agree to either tear this child apart or unite. and to balance out the deaths, he kills himself so that his lover's family will have been avenged with the death of a member of his family.

but that wasn't going to fit in 5 pages. so i woke up early but stayed in a meditative dream-state trying to dream up something. with the nursery and the wig parameter, i centered possibilities around a baby, and a mother dying of cancer. i wanted to frame it in a story about war and home. and then it all came out as i was reading survivor transcripts from hiroshima.

now i look at the words in front of me, and i think how simple and caricatured it is, this fictional piece. but then i think of these characters as though they were real people who lived these experiences, what their life was like from that point after, and sometimes, i cry. so the aftermath of this story has been a slow swim back to shore.

i was definitely introverted today, but content. it made people around me softer. warmer. more kind.

i want to admit that one of my greatest weaknesses as a writer, is i don't think i can kill.