i was shooting out of my mind yesterday, beating 3 guys at HORSE twice in a row despite my shoulder dislocating again. i actually beat them after it dislocated and having to pop it back in, which was the craziest part. the pain was killer last night so i had a hard time sleeping. went back and played today. as i was leaving the house for the gym, i remembered the dream i had last night. i really want a job. but sometimes i think the universe does whatever it wants with me, so that hasn't been in the books for me right now. so in my dream, i somehow got a job waitressing at houston's, which is where reggie used to work, but this was in another city--sf or seattle maybe. so we show up for this training meeting, but it was really vague. they just told us to go to it like we should already know what to do, but since i've never waitressed before, i was lost. i dropped a plate and thought i was going to get fired, that the boss must think i'm an idiot. i kept saying to myself, i have an IQ of 154, i'm not an idiot...repeating it over and over. the guy in charge turned out to be really nice and encouraging, and when i woke up, i realized i would really like to work for someone who wants to see me succeed for a change (i tend to work for people who want me to do well on one hand, but also resent me doing too well on the other).

but then going to play basketball again the day after a painful dislocation, whatever my IQ score, is really stupid. but basketball is an addiction for me.

i played 2 on 2 then 3 on 3. i was ridiculous. the 3 on 3 game was tough because i had a guy guarding me who was about 6'2 and long and quick off his feet. he was like an asian kevin durant. he did block one of my shots, so i had to release quick and high. there was one play where i drove left, then crossed behind my back throwing my guy into a righ-hand screen and just launched as soon as i picked up the ball instead of driving. i basically had to shoot over my defender and my own teammate, going from picking up the ball directly off a behind the back cross straight up, which is incredibly awkward and difficult, but it went in clean. there was a collective "whoa." i'm pretty sure i couldn't even see the basket over my guy, but it still went in. i made a couple more ridiculous shots crossing over directly into a shot over my defender, and two slashes to the basket.

i think the difference is confidence. when i feel in control, time moves slower, and i can see more options. that's why i like 2 on 2 or 3 on 3--less people means less feet, means i'm less worried about getting feet under me and hurting my knee so less anxiety. but even the full court games i played the other day when people kept asking me what college i play for...i was just overall really calm and in control. it's so much about mindset, not panicking, just feeling like you'll have enough time and space to do what you need to do.

i also notice that when i'm playing my game, feeling in control and showing leadership so my teammates can trust me, the team tends to win.

i've always found basketball to be such a metaphor to life. it's a game of rhythm as much as it's speed, strength and skill. the greeks believe a strong body makes a strong mind. basketball involves both. i've noticed that you can learn a lot about a person from watching them play basketball (did you know that when my dad and i play 2 on 2, he likes to shoot it himself rather than pass to me?), and a lot of the mentality of basketball translates to life. the more i'm going with the flow and letting the game come to me so i can optimize my potential within the context of the game, the more i can recognize the same feeling when i'm going with the flow and making the most out of "openings" in life.