i am starting to realize how serious of a person i am. i'm a very light, happy person, but these facets are not contradictory. a person can be a serious person and still have a light personality. no wonder i didn't want to be anywhere except the dark comedy niche. i love making people laugh. but i want to make people think. i just don't make anything for pure entertainment's sake. i want to always leave people with something to think about, a question to take away that works away at the corners of their mind. or just a belief. in something new. in something different. doesn't matter. just a belief.

i believe this contributes to why my friends call me private, caring and shy, and people in the world who meet me do not.

i think it's good though. my seriousness makes me think a lot, consider ideas, their evolution and potential benefits and consequences, so that i can navigate this world and take care of myself and the ones i love. but my detached, light approach to dealing with life and its changes allows me to touch another level of living, where there is hope, innocence, magic and possibilities. i think it's kind of like one side of me is very well aware of the present as things are now. the other, is very well aware of what's possible, the highest potential of any given reality. and i'm really good at seeing things as they are and as they could be, and because i've imagined it as a linear map, i usually have a good idea of where a person or situation is on this map; i don't often confuse the two by expecting more than is possible. this also gives me a good sense of direction.

so much is about learning to accept and not resist, even if you feel a drive to. if you can trust yourself to stand your own ground, you will be able to discern where your journey takes you and roll with what you meet. i always find that things should naturally come, if they are meant to come. everything else-- just details in the spaces in between.